Conflict Management

Author: Christy Hornung

Level/Subject: 4-12

Overview:

Conflict is largely a perceived phenomenon. It is our perception of the situation that determines if a conflict exists. It is useful to assess our predominant conflict management style(s) because we tend to get stuck in one or two styles and apply them inappropriately. The emphasis is not on judging any style right or wrong. Each person determines their predominant conflict management style.

Objectives:

Identify personal management style(s), develop an awareness of strategies used in each conflict management style.

Shark - Competing - is assertive and uncooperative.

An individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power oriented mode in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win ones own position.

When to use Competition:

1. When you know you are right.
2. When you need a quick decision.
3. When you meet a steamroller type of person and you need to stand up for your own rights.

Teddy Bear - Accommodating - is unassertive and uncooperative.

This is the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person. There is an element of self- sacrifice in this mode.

When to use accommodating:

1. When the issue is not so important to you but it is to the other person.
2. When you discover that you are wrong.
3. When continued competition would be detrimental - "you know you can't win."
4. When preserving harmony without disruption is the most important - "it's not the right time.

Turtle - Avoiding - is unassertive and cooperative.

When a person does not pursue her/his own concerns or those of the other person. He/she does not address the conflict, but rather sidesteps, postpones or simply withdraws.

When to use avoiding:

1. When the stakes aren't that high and you don't have anything to lose - "when the issue is trivial."
2. When you don't have time to deal with it.
3. When the context isn't suitable - "it isn't the right time or place."
4. When more important issues are pressing.
5. When you see no chance of getting your concerns met.
6. When you would have to deal with an angry, hot headed person.
7. When you are totally unprepared, taken by surprise, and you need time to think and collect information.
8. When you are too emotionally involved and the others around you can solve the conflict more successfully.

Owl - Collaborating - is both assertive and cooperative.

This is the opposite of avoiding. Collaboration involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons. It includes identifying the underlying concerns of the two individuals and finding an alternative which meets both sets of concerns.

When to use collaboration:

1. When other's lives are involved.
2. When you don't want to have full responsibility.
3. When there is a high level of trust.
4. When you want to gain commitment from others.
5. When you need to work through hard feelings, animosity, etc.

** The best decisions are made by collaboration.

Fox - Compromising - is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness.

The objective of compromise is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties. It falls in the middle group between competing and accommodating. Compromise gives up more than competing, but is less than accommodating.

When to use compromise:

1. When the goals are moderately important and not worth the use of more assertive modes.
2. When people of equal status are equally committed.
3. To reach temporary settlement on complex issues.
4. To reach expedient solutions on important issues.
5. As a back-up mode when competition or collaboration don't work.